Are you asking, “Why can’t I find love?”
You hope, you date, you search. Still, you come back to the thought that there is no love for you. Sadness sets in. Loneliness overcomes you. Is this your fate? No. Love is there, I promise you.
Consider how you look for Love. You have some idea of what love should look like or how love should feel. If you don’t see love in this way, then it must be that love is not here yet. If love does not show up in the way you are looking for it, then you can not be fulfilled. Where have all the good people gone that can deliver love in the way you need love?
I assert love is everywhere. There is a tendency for affinity that makes everything physical and non-physical possible to persist in a recognizable pattern. This affinity is Love. In other words, nothing, no emotion, no feeling can exist without love. Love is a basic ingredient of this Universe. Love is present everywhere and always, persisting beyond the limits of how you and I experience time and space. Do you notice how when you give your attention to it, you can experience the love of another even when they are far away, or even many years after their death? I’m not talking about memory. I’m talking about an experience of love that persists.
You might ask, “If love is always present, then why am I not always experiencing love?” To experience something, you must give your attention to it. To experience a friend, you must give your attention to your friend. To experience a book, you must read it with devoted attention.
What about love? You may be looking for love, but your attention is on how you want love to show up. Suppose love is not showing up in the way you are looking for it. When you limit how you will see love show up, you don’t notice love showing up in any other way.
So how can you see love in the many ways is is always showing up? Follow these three steps.
Step 1. Set aside your expectations of how you want love to show up.
Step 2. Take on the perspective that love is everywhere. Try this perspective on, like you would try on a pair of shoes before buying them. You give the shoes a chance to fit and you can take them off if you don’t want them. Take on this perspective. You may set it aside later if it does not serve you.
Step 3. Be in the inquiry: “Since love is present, how is love showing up now?”
Practice these three steps regularly. As you practice, you will become more and more skilled at seeing love, even in “difficult” situations.
Love is present. Are you present to love? Allow yourself to be surprised by how love shows up. Consider that love may be offering you more in the way that love is showing up than it would be offering you if love is showing up in the way that you are accustomed to looking for love.
David Lazaroff is author of Little Book of Big Love – 50 Ways to Express and Acknowledge Love With Words. David gives workshops and private coaching on finding and cultivating loving relationships.